A friend of mine had a job while we were growing up. His
parents thought that it would be a good way for him to learn to be responsible
with money and pay for his own things. He was responsible to pay for his clothing,
gas, car insurance, toothpaste, and shampoo as well as toys for himself. Because he was young and only had himself to provide for and a decent paying job he had plenty of money to do whatever he wished.
Then, he got married. He had rent to pay and two mouths to feed with one on the way. They had bills and utilities and credit cards to pay for. He had a job but the money didn't stretch as far as it used to now that there were real bills and expenses to provide and cover.
His wife discovered that he couldn’t budget a thing or rather he couldn't stick to it. He was constantly borrowing from one pot to pay for another reasoning that he could take "it" out of the money they'd set aside for gas or groceries. He always bought whatever he wanted when he wanted and it put a huge strain on his marriage because there wasn’t ever enough for his family’s needs. When it would be time to fill up the car that money would be gone and they would have to dip into next months rent to fill up.
Then, he got married. He had rent to pay and two mouths to feed with one on the way. They had bills and utilities and credit cards to pay for. He had a job but the money didn't stretch as far as it used to now that there were real bills and expenses to provide and cover.
His wife discovered that he couldn’t budget a thing or rather he couldn't stick to it. He was constantly borrowing from one pot to pay for another reasoning that he could take "it" out of the money they'd set aside for gas or groceries. He always bought whatever he wanted when he wanted and it put a huge strain on his marriage because there wasn’t ever enough for his family’s needs. When it would be time to fill up the car that money would be gone and they would have to dip into next months rent to fill up.
His parents forgot to teach him, or he didn’t listen, how to
budget and save. He always had plenty and was able to purchase whatever he
wanted when he wanted. So, when he was older and had to pay rent and real bills
and his own food he didn’t know how to discipline his desires and save for his
real needs.
Learning self mastery even in everyday things such as putting off what I want now for something of more importance later is an important skill to have. We learn this within the church.
I grew up without a job and my parents provided for my needs. Anything that I wanted to do I had to ask for permission and money. I didn't have an allowance. I was expected to work for free or rather for my dinner. I babysat for free all the time and I did household chores and even big stuff like washing windows or mowing the lawn or cleaning out the garage was all done for the price of a roof over my head, clothes to wear, and food to eat. I was not paid for any of it. I learned that money didn't grow on trees. I was not given everything I asked for. After a time I quit asking for a lot of things. In fact I was probably told no a bit too much. My dreams were really squashed and stifled. I learned to not have them because they never came true. It wasn't worth the bother of getting my hopes up.
What is the correct way to go about this problem? How do I teach my children how to self master themselves and be aware of future needs? They need to learn how to be self sufficient, and earn money, the meaning of a hard days work and the fulfillment it can bring without the expectation of being paid for everything you do, in other words service. They need to learn that money needs to be taken care of and to be a good steward over it. I want them to learn to work for their dinner and learn to make money and save money. I want them to be able to have dreams and learn how to realize them through hard/smart work and saving.
Perhaps there is a happy medium. I can expect my children to do household chores and even big chores. Maybe I can pay them to do my chores? .... Or maybe they won't learn how to serve if I do that. Perhaps I can find opportunities to serve other families that I know and take my children along with me to help and watch. I'll set a good example through serving others. I can also find jobs to pay my children for. I read somewhere about a parent that paid her older kids to babysit depending on what the need was. If she was going out grocery shopping she did not pay because that was all part of helping to provide for the family. But, if she was going out with her husband for a date then she would pay her kids to babysit. There must be other ways as well.
I will teach them to save. I will teach them about tithing and also saving. We will set goals for something of their hearts desire and then practice saving for it as we find ways to create income for them.
I hope that I can do better than my parents or my friends. Learning to master ones self for future goals is part of learning to be like our Savior and learning to be a good steward as well as to control our desires in more ways than just money.
Learning self mastery even in everyday things such as putting off what I want now for something of more importance later is an important skill to have. We learn this within the church.
I grew up without a job and my parents provided for my needs. Anything that I wanted to do I had to ask for permission and money. I didn't have an allowance. I was expected to work for free or rather for my dinner. I babysat for free all the time and I did household chores and even big stuff like washing windows or mowing the lawn or cleaning out the garage was all done for the price of a roof over my head, clothes to wear, and food to eat. I was not paid for any of it. I learned that money didn't grow on trees. I was not given everything I asked for. After a time I quit asking for a lot of things. In fact I was probably told no a bit too much. My dreams were really squashed and stifled. I learned to not have them because they never came true. It wasn't worth the bother of getting my hopes up.
What is the correct way to go about this problem? How do I teach my children how to self master themselves and be aware of future needs? They need to learn how to be self sufficient, and earn money, the meaning of a hard days work and the fulfillment it can bring without the expectation of being paid for everything you do, in other words service. They need to learn that money needs to be taken care of and to be a good steward over it. I want them to learn to work for their dinner and learn to make money and save money. I want them to be able to have dreams and learn how to realize them through hard/smart work and saving.
Perhaps there is a happy medium. I can expect my children to do household chores and even big chores. Maybe I can pay them to do my chores? .... Or maybe they won't learn how to serve if I do that. Perhaps I can find opportunities to serve other families that I know and take my children along with me to help and watch. I'll set a good example through serving others. I can also find jobs to pay my children for. I read somewhere about a parent that paid her older kids to babysit depending on what the need was. If she was going out grocery shopping she did not pay because that was all part of helping to provide for the family. But, if she was going out with her husband for a date then she would pay her kids to babysit. There must be other ways as well.
I will teach them to save. I will teach them about tithing and also saving. We will set goals for something of their hearts desire and then practice saving for it as we find ways to create income for them.
I hope that I can do better than my parents or my friends. Learning to master ones self for future goals is part of learning to be like our Savior and learning to be a good steward as well as to control our desires in more ways than just money.
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